Socializing

Isn’t it funny how nobody teaches classes like “How to Socialize?” If we were never taught to socialize, then how did we happen upon it? And why are some people better at it then others?

Ok, well first of all, I am very much aware of the fact that some people are extroverts while others are introverts. But I’ve come to notice that some people, regardless of being extroverted or introverted, are better than others at socializing. Part of me wonders if this comes from experience. For example, some people might be more adept at socializing because they’ve done so more often then other people. But sometimes, that’s not enough.

Being around people is so complex when you really think about it. Every single human being is a very unique individual, with its own personality, emotions, humour, morals, values, opinions and thoughts. Of course, we do without a doubt have similarities and agree upon certain things, and that’s one of the reasons we are inclined to want to socialize with certain people. But that still doesn’t touch the subject of the quality of social skills that a person can obtain.

I think the most important factor that influences the quality of one’s social skills is that person’s confidence. If you don’t doubt yourself, you are more likely to be comfortable not only around other people, but also comfortable interacting with them. These interactions that are so common for most of us can be quite difficult for others who can’t stop thinking about their discomfort, their anxiety, and the stress that comes with not knowing the outcome of any human interaction.

A few days ago, I met a man who’s wife suffers from social anxiety. She was supposed to attend the get together with him, but at the last minute, she didn’t feel comfortable anymore when thinking about putting herself in the set environment of our social gathering. It made me wonder about the process of learning to socialize and how it must be done in very precise steps so as to gain a certain comfort level before moving on to a bigger challenge.
And here I was thinking “Why aren’t I good at socializing?” In that moment, it slipped my mind that there are others who are facing much bigger issues concerning the subject of socializing than just “not being good at it.” I empathized at the thought of what it might be like to struggle every day. I realized that I’m lucky to be at least where I’m at, and that if I think I have trouble socializing with others, then maybe I can work at it too and improve on that to become a better version of myself.

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One thought on “Socializing

  1. I enjoyed your thoughts on social intereractions and how it affects us individually. Believe it or not, I was an introvert for a good part of my life. I look back to my youth and I realize that it was because I had no confidence in myself. It’s something my parents had passed on to me, because they also had no confidence in themselves. Thankfully, music provided me with an avenue to interact closely with all sorts of people, good and bad, and that tought me the skills that I am now proud of today. I no longer worry about speaking in front of others and I value different opinions. Carmen, thank you again for sharing! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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