Today, I’m not OK. 

Everybody has bad days, and for me, today is a bad day. I got some good news, but from my current point of view, it means making a hard decision, which kind of turns it into bad news. And it’s one of those situations where both options lead to a good thing, but also a bad thing.

Let me be more precise. One of my previous employers in New Brunswick sent me an e-mail this morning to say there would be a job opening (full time) and that she had me in mind for the position. She was aware that I was out of province, but she wanted to let me know about the possibility of employment in case it was something that interested me.
So here’s the problem. If I take the job, I have to move back East. If I move back East, I have to leave my boyfriend and go back to being in a long distance relationship. But if I stay in Alberta, I still have no job, which means no income, and I have no leads on any full time position either. I am torn.

Do I choose to stay here and be with my boyfriend, but struggle financially? Or do I move back East for a job that I know I will like, but feel the ever present heart-ache of willingly having chosen to be 5000kms away from my significant other?

Can we just pause time so I can play every possible scenario in my head before I decide? I can’t decide. I don’t know which one will make me happier. Both decisions stress me out, because there’s going to be something missing in my life. And today, I’m not OK with that.

But I have to be OK – and I will be ok –  because life isn’t perfect, and it works in mysterious ways. Now if only I could figure out where it’s trying to lead me.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s